Adulthood – Rights of Passage – Relationships

Serial Monagamist (nearly) would be an apt description – but many would say a series (like stadium full) of missed opportunities. As someone who likes the physicality of sexual relationships (I personally would agree). You can just see the kids start to cringe now (again).

How do I know I missed out – I can still remember/count all of my (non-self) sexual encounters. Fathom that. I can remember all of my encounters between 15 – 45 (now 47). How many of you can still remember every single sexual encounter you had with another person (in my case all women).

Are there any surprises here – probably – either in the age difference, circumstance or nature of act itself (this is not going to be described).

So here is the list (their approx age) and (my approx age):

• Alysson R (~17) at (17) – multiple (<10>
• Carmel C (~35) at (18-19) – two or three times
• Anita ? (~19) at (18-19ish) – one night stand
• Tammy (~24-25) at (19ish) – worked together - once/twice (got crabs – u know baygon works on these suckers but it is not recommended medically)
• Girl from Alaska (on a sporting trip – met in Manila – 3 days basically in bed) – can’t remember
• Kathy S (early 20s) at (early 20s) – but only for 5-6 months. Lived ~700km apart – love making rare event but “hot” (my view)
• Karen (wife and mother of Ash) married at 25 but together before that
• Sue (long term partner and mother of Georgia and Paul) – together at 34’ish and ever since.

Have I lied/forgotten – not that I can remember? Did I ever “cheat”? Only once, but not in marriage/long-term relationship – only on transition from one partner to another.

Is there a theme here – definitely – most met at work where it was possible to establish a relationship/friendship before a sexual relationship. Also, there is a theme of pursuit here (of me) – god only knows why. There is also possibly, from some perspectives, a theme of missed opportunities (sad but true).

So each encounter/relationship has a beautiful story (and each could have been a sliding door). So here is a précis of each relationship:

• Alysson R – told before. First, beautiful, (scared), doomed to fail.
• Carmel C – met at work, she was married with husband and kids, older/beautiful, thoughtful, poetic (still have book). While our sexual relationship was limited our friendship relationship was much longer. Most scared I have ever been in my life – bit like a car crash (awake but unsure – crossing the 10m from the lounge to the bed at 3.00am in morning almost the hardest act in my life). Boy meets woman. Hot/charged and oh too short, but every boys dreams. Am I proud – yes/no.
  
  Carmel was an interesting story for another reason – we worked together in an institution for the mentally disabled. I was a Clerk in the Mental Health Dept posted to this particular hostel to relieve someone (not initially Carmel I suspect) – she was working in the Hostel’s Admin Group. As an aside, the nurses in this place took great joy in ‘parking” one of the patients who was severely physically and mentally impaired but nonetheless in love with me (a naïve young boy) in front of my office every day for the whole time I was there.
• Anita – met at night club. Sex in car. Everyone does it sooner or later – get over it – I did.
• Tammy – met at work. Had a Mini Moke (and crabs). I threw up in her mother’s kitchen sink before sex one night after watching one of those wall calendar tea towels revolve around (soo bad). Really immemorable – hopefully for everyone concerned.
• Girl from Alaska –very attractive (my eyes) as she was a Caucasian in a sea of Asian Girls. All of the other guys on this soccer tour (married or not) were playing around with Asian Girls but I couldn’t and still can’t see the attraction = personal preferences. I did multiple trips to Asia with sporting teams and closest I came to a physical relationship on any trip was falling asleep in a park in Bangkok (with a really very beautiful Thai girl – receptionist in the hotel) during a King’s Cup Tournament we played in (fatigued from games, ill and uninterested?). So, back to the Girl from Alaska – met in a hotel pool - spent 3 days together in a bedroom and did not eat much – at least food. Enough said. She was lovely (thank you)
• Kathy S – work colleague and lovely. Lived in the bush. Pursued me. Much wiser than I, I think. Got off to inauspicious start. Parents lived in Perth – she was visiting. Picked her up (V8 Falcon – yes I know) and went to Perth for dinner. Had dinner – boy has no money as wallet is in car several kms away (idiot). Fortunately, Kathy has money and good sense of humour. Do girls make love/have sex on first date (Definitely). Remember one really hot night (in Bunbury of all places). Again a soccer trip – beach front and lambs wool covers involved.
• Karen – work colleague. Relationship developed from working together. Beautiful (mother of Ashleigh). Lived together for number of years both unmarried/married.
• Sue – work colleague. We had a friendship, but no we did not have relationship before separation. However, Sue pursued me though when the opportunity arose. We have been lovers ever since (kids are cringing again).

Summary – generally had friendships with partners before sexual relationships and for those that really matter have managed to maintain these friendships.

Missed Opportunities – Many – was actually really poor at getting into the pants of women (need counseling/advice).

Regrets – Few, if any, except it would have been nice to have been "laid" more and perhaps to have had more variety. But, hey, who knows - there is no right number or type of experiences.